What Does a Good Parent Look Like?

Is a good parent tattoo free? Smoke free? Does a good parent act a certain way?

I worked last night at the hospital and then, after a couple hours of sleep, worked my second job as a home infusion nurse. My first stop was in the next town over. I usually work with adults in this job and it turned out to be the parent of one of our "chronic" kids.

We looked at each other and couldn't quite place one another. We put the pieces together and figured out I took care of one of their kids. The child was called in and sure enough I recognised them.
What was amazing was this parent would probably be judged by appearance as somewhat less than desirable. Someone could even say "white trash". What I learned was that this was a wonderful parent.

While taking care of a child with chronic issues (partial blindness, partial deafness, heart problems, and newly diagnosed heart failure), they are dealing with their own (extreme pain, obstructive bowel, gastric tube, inability to take pain meds, etc.).

I asked how they were handling everything. How the only pain meds that worked rendered this parent useless.  My empathy was working overtime. I know I can't do a damn thing about their situation. We spoke about support.  I was relieved to learn the patient's mother lived next door.

What I focused on was our similarities as parents caring for our children, on the sacrifies we "good parents" make.  This parent had a beautiful and caring soul. This parent was more worried about the sick child than their own declining health.

Many people may view this as tragic, and rightfully so because it is. For me, it was a chance to connect on a human level. Illness and mortality are the great equalizers. We will all be sick at some point, maybe even terminal. It is the amount of grace with which we deal with it that makes us who we are.