The Dichotomy That Is Me

Blogging about my life, your life, our lives as they are shared, intertwining on this planet. I've been wondering, is the blogoshere the equivalent of "If you aren't on YouTube, you don't exist" as in if you don't blog, your thoughts and insights aren't relative? It really doesn't matter to me because these are my really only MY thoughts and mine alone; cobbled from MY life experiences, not YOURS, no matter how similar they are to yours. I have lived many places and had many jobs, careers, relationships that you will never experience. It will always just be MY thoughts until you, the reader, interacts with me. I would prefer you comment here, but I guess if you find this on facebook, that works as well. A bit about me... One of the things that really interests me is when two people have similar ideals that come from extremely different places, not unlike when you discover two different cultures from very different spots on the globe that have similar stories of the "Great Flood". It's like the feeling I had when I first heard Sting's "Russians" and realized that we share the same Biology regardless of ideology, and that we love our children too. Take a listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHylQRVN2Qs I was raised one way, grew up another, and yet I look at those times as formative yet not what made me to who I am today. I have been a loner from the moment I can remember yet I love being with others. I have friends, sure, but I am also quite comfortable by myself for long periods. I enjoy spending time with others, making people feel good, making them laugh, making them think. There's this dichotomy in me that once drives me crazy yet provides peace: being alone versus being with others. How does this all tie together? Here's how I see it: I am a thinker and a provider. When I don't feel like I have time to think, I get antsy. Life is noisy and crazy busy and makes being deep impossible sometimes. People are needy and noisy and just plain crazy and I live to provide for them in various ways. When I can't do that, I go a little crazy as well, searching for peace, for solutions. This is THE inner battle that goes on at any given time in my head. I can be retrospective and ask WHY and WHERE does this come from and HOW did I get this way. I could embrace it and just say "deal with it" if someone has an issue with me or I have an issue with me. There is a third option, of course. I could always try and be a different person. Nah. I kinda like the crazy, neurotic me. I like the fact that I care about people. I like the fact that I am fascinated by our similarities. I fear people who act crazy because of their differences. I like that not being able to provide for my family and friends needs drives me nuts, because I fear people who are not driven crazy by this. This is just the first installment of the blog about me. I hope that we may be able to find more that we have in common and share in this beautiful and difficult journey of life.