It Really IS a Wonderful World!

I'm not titling and writing this because anything great has happened in my life recently. I AM writing this because we need a reminder once in a while that there is more beauty and kindness than ugliness and nastiness.

What grabs the headlines nowadays is usually the bad stuff, the shocking things, stories that cause fear in the hardiest of mankind, natural disasters, scams, cheating politicians, etc. If you are a reporter, I would think that these are the kinds of stories your editor would want to hear. You need to "scoop" the competition, to get a few more details, a "better" angle, a more shocking fact.

Think for a second: if you were a visitor from outside the daily workings of this culture and world and your only source of information about what was happening in this day and age was the news on television and what you read online, what judgement would you pass? It would reason that you would view this world as a mean and horrible place. You would see mankind being bad to their own kind. You would see how a group of people pass judgement on others for having differing viewpoints. You would see nature being destroyed for yet another retail establishment.

Unfortunately, you would be correct. To a point. There is still an infinite beauty out there. Just think, there is a reason that this stuff is news. It is because it is the exception. The problem is, when that is all that is reported it weaves it's way into our psyche and messes with our perceptions. It makes us look at all politicians with a sideways glance. It makes you think your neighbor is growing pot and holding a captive in his basement. It makes you think that all corporations are greedy bastards that care nothing for the environment or their employees. It causes you to see all people from a different belief as terrorists and/or ignorant.

What a horrid way of living! We are, in essence, holed up in our homes/bunkers, unwilling to come up for a fresh breath of life. We don't want to meet our neighbors for a variety of reasons, we don't want to learn, objectively, about other cultures or religions, and we don't buy a product for a store because it may contain asbestos or lead or made with child labor (Disclaimer: it is always good to research items before purchasing).

I challenge you to get out, take a walk (bring a camera), meet a neighbor. Think for yourself. Don't let Fox news, CNN, or any other mainstream media make up your mind for you. In fact, turn it off, dust off your library card (or go apply for one, just bring in a utility bill with your address on it) and check out a few books. Go to the local second hand store and get some materials for an art project. Or to your local art supply store and get some cheap acrylics and a canvas and paint. Take photos and edit and print them.

...or build the Eiffel Tower in your front yard like the one I saw in Caldwell, ID the other day leaving a patient's home.

A while ago I decided to try and make my own paper, basically recycling old paper and making new stuff to one day make bind into journals as gifts. It was tons of fun! I've got to go find that stuff...

Get Real!

It's kind of funny. I have been trying to post on this blog daily, while a friend does the same thing on hers. I'm a day or two short. The funny thing is, our blogs have been almost consistently similar. Check out Daleymuse.Wordpress.com.

With the increase of population and the ability to easily communicate via the web, we are inundated with data, words, information, music and images.  As with the law of supply and demand, the over-abundance of all of this can tend to cheapen it.

Take for instance a writer who slaves over their work. My friend, Alan Heathcock was an overnight success. It only took him 12 years to get his short story collection, Volt, written and published. Twelve years. Overnight sensation. Yeah, the math doesn't really work.  Let's say that he gave up trying to get this done along the way. He gets discouraged by the cool reception of the publishers and decides to self-publish. Would that cheapen his art? Let's say he just leaves it in digital form from his computer and posts it as a blog entry. Can you still relate to his raw, beautiful characters?

I think you could, but you would have to wade through an awful lot of information to find it.

True art, while not having to be recognised by a commercial entity like a publisher, is usually better experienced live and in person. I remember walking in Downtown Disney and being stopped be the music of Drew Tetrick. He made his violin weep and sing. We stopped and listened and chatted with him and purchased his CD's that he signed. Listening to them now is good, but hearing it live... That was awesome! 

I'm sure we would all recognise the Mona Lisa because of an art class, or from a movie, or some other book. Can you imagine seeing it with your own eyes at the Louvre in Paris?  Can your computer monitor show you the scale of the Sistene Chapel? Or of the David? 

The point is, get out there and either create or enjoy a museum or gallery. PRINT those pictures off the memory stick and frame it. Give one to a friend. Print off the story and mark the hell out of it. Let someone you know will be honest critique it.

Log off and create! It's what you were born to do!

Don't Do It For Praise

I am uncomfortable receiving praise. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it, but I usually don't go seeking it.

I can see how what I do is appreciated. I can, but to me, it is my calling. To take care of families in times of need is something I enjoy doing and get satisfaction from. I realize this is not for everyone. I hurt for the ones that are hurting, but I try to not let it affect me so much so that I can't do my job.

I do get something out of this, and not just a paycheck. I get some fulfillment, some joy, some peace, and some satisfaction in taking care of these sick kids and their families. I consider it an honor to be let into their lives, many times at their most vulnerable. I have a deep respect for them and I have learned many lessons. Here's a few:

-Don't forget to tell people you love them, even if you are temporarily angry with them.

-Realize that life is hard for others, even when you can't see it on the outside.

-There's never too much of a good thing, especially laughter and face to face visits. Chocolate and bacon as well.

-Hugs are almost always welcome.

-There's nothing worth being angry over for too long. Most times, people didn't mean to hurt you, give the benefit of the doubt.

So, you see, I feel I get just as much as I put in, if not more.  So, whatever you do, don't do it for the praise. If you do, and it doesn't come, you just did it for the wrong reason. Do whatever you do for the love of it, for the fulfillment of it, because your soul would weep if you didn't.

This post is kind of short, I do plan to get all of these lessons down with examples. Watch for that in future posts.

Irons in the Fire

I have many irons in the proverbial fire. Don't we all? How many do you have?

For me, there's the family. I'm always worried about how they are doing. Will May get into the Coast Guard Academy AIM program this summer? How is Sam doing in his first year of High School? Will Jeremie get to keep his desk with the other kids? Will Sherri be okay with her business? Then there's Laura, how is she feeling? Still sick, all better? Addam and his college load and music career and his family. All these questions and more will be answered in the next "Days of Our Lives". Cue music...

That was just the family.

Then there's work. Both jobs. Oh, and that third one, NurseNoggin.

How is my mom doing? How's my great aunt?

Oh, and the bills, and the dogs, the Bearded Dragon, the tile flooring project (yes, still unfinished), the holes in the walls and ceilings, the shed roof, the trailer wheel bearings, May's bug.... You get the picture.

Unfortunately, the things I consider "my projects" are like extracurricular activities. These are things I deem worthy causes, but somehow, with how busy life is and how tight finances are, they fall to the side. They are still irons, we all have them, but they are wasting away, being burned by the fire while the others are being shaped. For me these things are writing, St Baldricks, and Haiti.

I'm sure you have your own list. This is the thing. As soon as you take that iron out of the fire, it starts to lose heat. You hammer on it, bend it, then have to return it to the fire. Out comes the next one. Back in it goes. Your time is the heat and there's only so much of it in a day. You have to prioritize.

It is so hard to enjoy life when the things that make you happy aren't getting the kind of attention you would just love to give them. 

For me, I am going to focus on getting the things done, iron formed and finished, that haunt me when I am trying to enjoy this life. The small, unfinished projects, the floor, drywall, and the shed. Then I can truly enjoy the things that bring me contentment: my family, writing, raising awareness and funds for childhood cancer and for Haiti.

I challenge you to lighten your load, as I lighten mine.

Addam Love

Needless to say, we love Addam. We tell people all the time how much we love him, how great he is, how responsible he is, how impressive his music is. Truth is, we live him like a son.

People may hear him and fall in love with his talent, his silkier than silk voice, his mad guitar and piano skills. But the Addam we know is so much more than that.

He is kind, giving, a good big brother to our three other kids, respectful of us, his real parents. He's a good college student, a hard worker at Sherri's daycare.

Basically, we can't say enough about him. We believe in his talent completely but that's not what is going to make him successful. As a friend, Amber, said just now at this, the first concert she has attended of his, "I want him to be successful and to make it, but I don't want to see him polluted by the music industry." I couldn't agree more. As strong as his convictions are, the influences, I know, are incredibly relentless.

His character is the definition of success to me. He could have been bitter about what he didn't have growing up, but he chose to work hard at his talent. He taught himself piano at age 6. No Xbox around, no time sucking cable t.v. just a boy and his keyboard. Then a guitar a couple years ago, then singing, then songwriting.

What's your excuse?
I'm convicted.

What Does a Good Parent Look Like?

Is a good parent tattoo free? Smoke free? Does a good parent act a certain way?

I worked last night at the hospital and then, after a couple hours of sleep, worked my second job as a home infusion nurse. My first stop was in the next town over. I usually work with adults in this job and it turned out to be the parent of one of our "chronic" kids.

We looked at each other and couldn't quite place one another. We put the pieces together and figured out I took care of one of their kids. The child was called in and sure enough I recognised them.
What was amazing was this parent would probably be judged by appearance as somewhat less than desirable. Someone could even say "white trash". What I learned was that this was a wonderful parent.

While taking care of a child with chronic issues (partial blindness, partial deafness, heart problems, and newly diagnosed heart failure), they are dealing with their own (extreme pain, obstructive bowel, gastric tube, inability to take pain meds, etc.).

I asked how they were handling everything. How the only pain meds that worked rendered this parent useless.  My empathy was working overtime. I know I can't do a damn thing about their situation. We spoke about support.  I was relieved to learn the patient's mother lived next door.

What I focused on was our similarities as parents caring for our children, on the sacrifies we "good parents" make.  This parent had a beautiful and caring soul. This parent was more worried about the sick child than their own declining health.

Many people may view this as tragic, and rightfully so because it is. For me, it was a chance to connect on a human level. Illness and mortality are the great equalizers. We will all be sick at some point, maybe even terminal. It is the amount of grace with which we deal with it that makes us who we are.

The Dichotomy That Is Me

Blogging about my life, your life, our lives as they are shared, intertwining on this planet. I've been wondering, is the blogoshere the equivalent of "If you aren't on YouTube, you don't exist" as in if you don't blog, your thoughts and insights aren't relative? It really doesn't matter to me because these are my really only MY thoughts and mine alone; cobbled from MY life experiences, not YOURS, no matter how similar they are to yours. I have lived many places and had many jobs, careers, relationships that you will never experience. It will always just be MY thoughts until you, the reader, interacts with me. I would prefer you comment here, but I guess if you find this on facebook, that works as well. A bit about me... One of the things that really interests me is when two people have similar ideals that come from extremely different places, not unlike when you discover two different cultures from very different spots on the globe that have similar stories of the "Great Flood". It's like the feeling I had when I first heard Sting's "Russians" and realized that we share the same Biology regardless of ideology, and that we love our children too. Take a listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHylQRVN2Qs I was raised one way, grew up another, and yet I look at those times as formative yet not what made me to who I am today. I have been a loner from the moment I can remember yet I love being with others. I have friends, sure, but I am also quite comfortable by myself for long periods. I enjoy spending time with others, making people feel good, making them laugh, making them think. There's this dichotomy in me that once drives me crazy yet provides peace: being alone versus being with others. How does this all tie together? Here's how I see it: I am a thinker and a provider. When I don't feel like I have time to think, I get antsy. Life is noisy and crazy busy and makes being deep impossible sometimes. People are needy and noisy and just plain crazy and I live to provide for them in various ways. When I can't do that, I go a little crazy as well, searching for peace, for solutions. This is THE inner battle that goes on at any given time in my head. I can be retrospective and ask WHY and WHERE does this come from and HOW did I get this way. I could embrace it and just say "deal with it" if someone has an issue with me or I have an issue with me. There is a third option, of course. I could always try and be a different person. Nah. I kinda like the crazy, neurotic me. I like the fact that I care about people. I like the fact that I am fascinated by our similarities. I fear people who act crazy because of their differences. I like that not being able to provide for my family and friends needs drives me nuts, because I fear people who are not driven crazy by this. This is just the first installment of the blog about me. I hope that we may be able to find more that we have in common and share in this beautiful and difficult journey of life.